How to Be a Heartbreaker
by FullTimeGeek
Summary: Haruhi is fed up with the hosts' attitudes about love and their clients so she decides to give them a taste of their own medicine.


**This is based on the song How to be a Heartbreaker by Marina and the Diamonds! It just seemed like such an interesting concept I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like in the OHHC world! I am working on my other stories but I couldn't stop myself from posting this one :|. Thank you for reading!**

 **Disclaimer: OHHC does not belong to me and the song does not belong to me!**

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Haruhi glared at the host club. They were lucky she was too sick to speak.

"I can't believe we forgot to go over this with you Haruhi," Kaoru said.

"Yeah maybe if we had she wouldn't be glaring at us right now." Hikaru smirked.

Haruhi closed her eyes, asking her mother for more patience.

"We're almost done," Tamaki continued nervously. "To recap, remember that you absolutely cannot fall for any client! If you find yourself feeling butterflies or overwhelmed by their beauty then follow these steps to calm down."

Hikaru raised his hand. "What if our feelings aren't love but…" He glanced at Haruhi. Even he had limits about what he could admit around her. "You know." He finished.

Tamaki sighed. "We should talk about that when there isn't a lady around."

Haruhi drank her water in long, continuous sips to stop herself from ignoring her sore throat and scolding them.

"What if they fall in love with us?" Kaoru asked.

"A valid question. I have seen that there is an increased interest in the club as months pass. It is in fact possible that our clients' feelings have transcended that of a mere crush although there is no clear evidence," Kyoya responded. "However, if they truly fall in love with any of us we cannot do anything about it except push them away."

Haruhi frowned.

Tamaki noticed her expression and laughed nervously. "Well Kyoya we can't just let them be in love with us right?"

"Ideally we wouldn't have anyone truly fall in love with us but if it were to happen there's nothing we could really do. It's not like we can just make their feelings disappear. The most we could offer is a display of non attachment."

"But isn't pushing them away too cruel?" Tamaki began fiddling with the chalk in his hand.

Kyoya shrugged. "We reject their letters and they still visit the club. It is not our fault if they continue to love us. The only thing we can do when things get too serious is push them away. As soon as their feelings are settled we can reel them back in. What else do you suggest we do?"

"I don't know…"

The host club silenced, each one thinking over the question.

Haruhi was just questioning how Honey and Mori let them slide. She didn't know if it was good luck or bad luck that she found out about this little talk after her seniors had moved on to college. Also, was this the first time they were seriously thinking of a better way to save the clients some heartbreak?

"I guess you're right." Tamaki finally spoke up. "I don't want to see those girls suffering but the only way to avoid that is to keep them at bay." He avoided looking at Haruhi, knowing full well he couldn't take her disappointed stare.

Hikaru nodded. "That's better than completely shunning them."

Kaoru shrugged. He turned to a fuming Haruhi. "You've got to admit that we can't avoid it if they fall for us but we can avoid falling in love with them. If we don't fall in love with them, nothing could ever really start and no real heartbreak will occur. That's better than nothing."

Haruhi gaped.

Kyoya didn't have to look up from his notebook to notice the expression she was wearing. "You do the same thing Haruhi so it's not like you're in any position to criticize."

Haruhi shook her head. She did use the fact that clients thought she was handsome to pay her debt but she never acted as anything more than a friend. Yes, they crushed on her but she knew for a fact that every girl was aware that Haruhi only saw them as friends. Based on the end of the year surveys, the same couldn't be said of the other hosts' regular visitors. Kyoya knew that as well as she did.

"You wouldn't like it if someone broke your heart." Haruhi croaked out painfully.

The twins smirked. Naive little Haruhi still didn't get that they had been playing this game for years. It started even before the host club was formed. They were experts at controlling their feelings at this point.

Tamaki jumped. He didn't like the sound of her voice. He rubbed his arms to relieve the sudden chill.

Kyoya's glasses glinted. He tilted his head. "Is that a challenge Haruhi?"

Haruhi shook her head,i stood up, and left without another word.


End file.
